Snapshot!

So obviously throughout life we evolve and so do our interests so for this blog I thought I'd take a look at top ten things that make me happy and the top ten favorites so, in a specific order:

Top 10 Things That Make Me Happy:
1. God
2. My family, particularly my dad
3. Serious/deep/thought provoking conversations
4.My roommates
5. Volunteering
6. Having moments that make me pause, realize how petty my problems are, and feel enormously grateful for my blessings.
7. shopping
8. Fall
9. a good laugh
10.reading for fun/learning

Top 10 Favorite things:
1. color - purple
2. past time - reading for fun
3. class - the dangerous 18th century and/or public finance (ironically the two I expected to like the least)
4. weekly occurrence -the turn out at our weekly STLF meetings
5. Movie - Dirty Dancing
6. TV Show - the new girl
7. food - spinach and tomato pizza
8. drink - caramel macciato(no idea how to spell that) from starbucks
9. my future - it's super open which is a little scary but mostly exciting
10. learning - current lesson, who trust, how much to trust, and when to love

There is a snapshot of 22(honing in on 23 in a few months) me. My life is good, and I am so blessed. I feel bad when I let days like yesterday when little things go wrong all day cause me to forget that. I am healthy, I am young, I am smart, I have a good skill set, I am loved, I have good shelter, I have my faith, I have plenty of healthy food. I am blessed.

My biggest struggle right now is figuring out who to let in my life, in what capacity, who to trust and to what extent, and attempting to pull myself back from relationships - current and past - where I clearly was the one loving/caring/working more than the other person. It occurs to me I am no one's number one, but I let so many people be mine and I think that I need to be my number one. For now at least, until I can get a handle on how to open my heart again and who to open it to I need to love me most (excluding family and God obviously). I don't love this idea, but I don't think anyone can love us more than ourselves. I have an enormous capacity to love, and I do. When I love someone, friends included, I love their flaws, their assets, their insecurities, and I see them honestly but lovingly. I don't ask them to change because love doesn't demand such things, but I'm observing that this is not the norm and until I can sort out how to mesh my love with the rest of the world's definition I'm pulling it back and focusing it on me and my well being.

Til next time...